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cheesecake.jpgI mentioned moving to a new (happier) location where I work, right? As in, my desk is no longer in cube-land, I'm not sitting next to an over-dramatic-psychotic person, and I am no longer constantly freezing to death. (There are even days I can take off my third layer!) Well, the department area that I moved to gets spoiled on occasion by their supervisor.

Since I am close friends with their supervisor, I was spoiled as well. She went to Mocha House to get her lunch and bought slices of cheesecake for each of us! It was all work-related prizes for the others, but since I am not in that department and didn't do anything work-related for her, she told me that since I am such a great friend that mine is friend-related cheesecake. She also didn't want me feeling left out watching the others eat cheesecake. I did let her know that I wouldn't be totally heart-broken if she were to not treat me the way she does them. I also told her that in doing so it means something random and amazing will happen in her future. (Karma, you know? Which, yes, we can take control of Karma on our own simply by doing something nice for others. Ahem.)

I do tell her quite often that she is pretty amazing, that she doesn't get paid enough, that she is truly underappreciated (not just here, but in her personal life, too). So, I am feeling pretty damn grateful to have someone in my life that randomly brings me treats, like delicious, to-die-for, cheesecake. 

Just Stopping By (One Year Later)

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It has literally been a year since I wrote here.

I'm not sure what made me decide to take a look at Disillusioned, but whatever it was, here I am. Looking over the site I wasn't shocked that it had been a year since I posted here. I was shocked that it was a year ago TODAY that I had posted last. So much has changed. So much has remained the same.

I'm officially writing more, not here, but actual short stories. I'm also working on a romance novel. I'm taking writing classes (sort of) and trying to seriously make a go of it. I'm on my second writing class. The first was simply to reopen my mind to my muse. To rekindle the flame of imagination and to help me get off my ass and write.

The second one is specifically for romance writing, and I hate to say it, I have been ignoring it. I have printed the lessons and plan to do them offline. It just seems to not be capturing my attention and I would rather be writing than learning about writing, I guess. Don't get me wrong, I love writing and I love learning. The online class I am taking is great. The lessons are excellent. I am just not participating the way I did in the previous class. I don't know why. I print the lessons and put them in my binder. I know that I will need them at some point. 

I've chosen my author name, which I won't share here at this time. I haven't decided if I want to publish the romance novel under the psuedonym or my real name. I do know that the short stories won't be under either name because they are seriously trashy erotica. (The kind you don't share with your mom. Or your coworkers. Or anyone who thinks they know who you are. It's the kind you read under your covers alone with a flashlight and whatever adult playthings you might require.) There are many reasons my name and the pen name I've chosen won't be on them. There were two short stories I wrote, each one under a different name, that I recently took down from Amazon and I probably won't use either of those names either. Honestly, there are reasons why I don't want anyone to know I wrote them. Too many implications. Too many people who will think that they aren't just stories, when someone at work just happened to say something to me and my mind exploded. EXPLODED. The ideas keep flowing. I want each of them to be around 5,000 words... I'm just not sure how to get them there yet. They tend to end around 3,400-3,500 words.

I've started a writing blog to go along with the chosen name. I almost shared one of the trashy stories there, just a sneak peek of 250 words, but then I decided I didn't want to do that.

My title at work has changed. My seating location has changed. Instead of sitting in a cube with a seriously psychotic neighbor, I am sharing an office with two amazing people who also work hard. This is a huge bonus for me because I'm not gritting my teeth listening to someone talk out loud all day long to whatever voices happen to be in their head. My pay changed, too, but thanks to student loans I am actually (once again) taking home less than what I was prior to the raise. This is twice now. The first time was thanks to the guv'ment forcing healthcare down our throats. If it happens a third time... I am going to scream.

In other news, the Little Lady moved to Toledo for her first year of college, then she decided she didn't want to be that far from home any longer and decided to transfer. She prefers being home and able to work however many hours she wants. There were also issues regarding work-study jobs being given to non-work-study students. That means by the time she found work, the semester was almost over. And, for whatever reason, a lot of the people who are supposed to be kind and helpful were rude and snotty. That's never appreciated.

Things have been going fairly well. I'm happier pursuing the writing bug that bit me when I was young and I know that if I put enough blood, sweat, tears, and other bodily secretions into it, I can succeed. I may not become a millionaire (you never know) and I might not have a movie made about one of my stories (it can happen to anyone) but I am willing to give it everything I can and hope that I might be able to live a little more comfortably instead of this whole paycheck to paycheck thing.

And now I'm off... to go do that writing thing on my lunch. Laters.

Time Flies (When You're Not Looking)

I have noticed that I have a bad habit of looking at the time. Often. It's hard not to do so when you have a computer clock, a phone clock, a cell phone and a mirror (to see who's sneaking  up behind me this time) with a clock.

And all of them say different times. The phone clock is phone time, the computer clock is server time, the cell phone I consider to be real time and the mirror clock I try to have set to time clock time.  And they are anywhere from 2 minutes to 5 minutes different from each other.  It gets difficult trying to do the math from one clock to another so I try to go by just my cell phone and the time clock.  Yes, I know I could set my cell phone to the time clock but with how quickly it gains or loses time (depending on its moods) I'd be constantly changing that. Then I would be late or early all the time. That would drive me nuts.

I also have several alarms. I have my noon alarm for changing positions and my 4:25 alarm to remember to take my laptop home (in case I haven't used it) because if I'm not using it, I might forget I brought it in.  Setting the 4:25 alarm is quite helpful because then I have no need to watch the clock. 

If I didn't have to do math between the times I would just not have any other clocks visible and just go by the cell phone. Unfortunately, it doens't always work that way.

happy bunny.jpgIf you've ever prevented yourself from doing a double-take and clamped your mouth shut at the same time, you might be a nice person. If you've ever stood there and waited patiently for someone on a store-scooter to get where they are going, you might be a nice person. If you've ever listened to a person spout off things that make your eyeballs twitch while smiling and nodding because you didn't want to get them riled up any further, you might be a nice person. Please note, just because you might be a nice person doesn't mean you're also a pushover. Although you might be one of those poor nice people who can't seem to figure out how to use the word "no" and are therefore overwhelmed, stressed to the max, sleeping poorly and can't seem to find time to sit down quietly and read that book/watch that movie/insert hobby here, it's time to learn the proper use of the word "no" in order to regain your sanity.

I am a reforming nice person. Reforming because I still tend to use the word 'yes' a little too often and as soon as I do it backfires and I have a million other little tasks {this will only take 5 minutes} piled on top of the one thing I said yes to by others who didn't know. {Or bother to ask, or care to know, or didn't bother going through the proper chain of command because why would they do that?}  These are the people who walk all over nice people. They toss something on their chair when they aren't at their desk or they call and ask you to run errands when they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own; they are just too lazy to do so. These are the people who come to you and say 'please please PLEASE just this one little thing...' and so you do it but then when you need something and go to ask them for assistance they are too busy and full of excuses, or if they say yes they never get to it and by the time they let you know {if you're so nice that you haven't nagged them about it like they would you} it's too late to bother.

There are ways you can stop the madness. Practice saying 'no' about something small. "No, I can't stay late tonight, I have {insert real or fake family related plans here} and I have to leave right at {insert leaving time here}." Eventually you'll be able to work your way up to saying no to projects that you don't have time for, folding other people's one piece of mail {then stuffing it, sealing and stamping it as well}. Once you get all of your regular duties under control, organized and finished early then you can add more projects here and there. However, if you have a supervisor, make sure that they are going to your supervisor before coming to you. If they can't seem to handle that, then talk to your supervisor. Hopefully he or she will be kind {or awesome} enough to stick up for you as your time is also their time and your work is also a reflection on them.

While people don't always follow the 'see my supervisor' role where I am working I do let him know what is going on and this way he can keep tabs on how much people are utilizing my skills*. I try to keep track of everything I do, whether it's something repetitive or new, even if it is a one time project. There are some one time projects that can go on forever because people have no clue how to do things in the proper order. In other words, if you have a bunch of items you want to put into a book for each employee, then you should make sure all of those items are updated with current information prior to having someone assemble the book. These things happen and in my personal opinion if the other people involved in the project are disorganized and they didn't go through my supervisor regarding it then it is low priority and can sit and wait until my high priority projects are completed.

 If you learn to respect yourself, believe in your skills and teach others that you are not a doormat, eventually {some of them anyway} will learn that they can't just throw something on your desk without asking first.


{*abusing my lack of time}

Life and Love

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If all you look for in life and love is a pretty package, all you'll find is misunderstanding, loneliness and resentment. Not only in the person you are with but also within yourself.

Said by Me.

I happened to reply to a tweet about the reality shows The Bachelor/Bachelorette the other day about if they need a tv show to find love how is there hope for the rest of us. I replied "if you need to go on a tv show to show just how undateable you are that's when you're totally lost". Now, let me explain a little more. I don't watch these shows. I rarely watch reality tv at all. I hate reality tv because it's a lie. There is nothing real about it at all. However, I don't have cable and I don't have DVR or TiVo so if I watch actual television, instead of Netflix, Hulu, etc, I end up seeing commercials for these shows. Just the commercials put me off of them. There is so much drama just in the commercials it makes me want to change the channel. 

 I think a lot of what's wrong with the country we live in today is the fact that people watch these reality tv shows and think it is appropriate to act like the people do on tv. They have warnings when watching MythBusters for a reason. McDonald's had to put a warning on their hot coffee cups due to someone's stupidity. There are a lot of days I agree with the ecard/meme going around that says remove all warning labels and notices so that natural selection and common sense can take place.

To get back to the story, there was a reply made saying something along the lines of not everyone can look like me. To which I replied the first portion of my quote up top. Honestly though, if you have become a person who can't find anyone to date maybe there is something wrong with you and perhaps you need a little time being single and finding out who you are or want to become. Sometimes that might include professional help, but not always. I would recommend professional help if you're having trouble dealing with stress and anxiety about being single. 

Life isn't about to get any easier unless we learn that how we treat others and how we treat objects are two seriously confused things right now. 

About Disillusioned

Disillusioned is a personal view of the world around me. A lot of information will be about books I read, or shows/movies I watch but sometimes there will be something that simply has to be pointed out and shredded. With Joy.

Disillusioned is best viewed in 1280x800 resolution.

To contact me you can email me by way of disillusioned at, comments are open for business with approval.


About Chelle

Yeah, that's me! I am 25 36, I live in Ohio. I have one beautiful teenage daughter and one lovable cat. I enjoy reading, television, anime and annoying my daughter. I'm also trying to learn Japanese because I want to visit Japan someday. Yes, I'm over 30 and I like anime, do you have an issue with that?

If you really wish to know even more about how fantastic I truly am, here you go: About Me

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