I know it's hard to discipline kids these days. I mean, you can't spank them because that's abuse, right? Some crazy old man accused my best friend of child abuse because she tried to hurry along the little boy walking in front of her by poking him in the tushie with her foot. The kid didn't fall down, didn't cry, he just walked faster, which was the goal. She had three other kids with her in a busy parking lot so I completely understand why she did this. Once she explained to the officers who were sent after her, and showed them what occured it was laughed off. The officers apologized for taking up her time and left.
There are many ways to abuse a child, not just the kind that leaves bruises. Neglect is a huge part of abuse that no one ever notices. My sister and I were neglected quite well as children, let to roam where we wanted, when we wanted. As long as we were home for dinner we could have been doing anything and it would not have mattered and if we weren't home for dinner, well perhaps we are at a friend's house eating dinner there. If there was dinner.
I condone spanking when needed, grounding for several reasons regarding several items of interest for different periods of time. I have grounded my daughter when necessary from everything electronic for a month when the punishment is required. During that time she is also forced into slave labor, doing dishes each day and other cleaning as required. If she does what's asked the sentence can be reduced, if she complains it can be lengthened.
When she isn't grounded she's supposed to (notice the terms used) do dishes every Wednesday. It doesn't always happen and when it doesn't she gets extra chores as required to make up for the miss (usually cleaning the bathroom).
I would never tie her to a tree as a way of punishment no matter what the rules broken. I have threatned to throw her through a wall, but I would never ever do that. She knows that phrase is used for things that would seriously force me to consider putting her into the detention home to see how she likes it there. When she was tricked into stealing golf balls by two adults when we lived in the trailer park I actually asked the nice officers if they wanted to take her with them. They looked at me like I was crazy. I said "She did what? And who was involved? Ok, well... here she is, do you want to take her to the detention center?"
Yes, I did that right in front of her. I made sure she knew that I told them they could take her. The reason I did that is because I have told her repeatedly that if she does something wrong (even getting tricked by two horrible excuses for adults that need to this day be beaten with a metal bat) that she is to tell us so we are forewarned of what might be coming next. That was one of the occasions she was grounded for a month. She didn't even have any books to read at the time and I believe it was summer, too. No friends, no phone, no tv, no computer, no nothing. But I didn't tie her to a freaking tree.
There are so many people out there that have kids and don't realize that they are just that. Kids. These are kids who are going to grow up and they are either going to turn out to be a productive member of society (my goal for my daughter) or they are going to turn out to be a waste of government funds. In order to achieve my goals with my daughter I have to set guidelines and an example. Even if I was in pain or sick I went to work. Even if she was in pain or had a slight cold, she went to school (I always let her choose if she felt bad and made the decision for her if she was really bad). She went to work with me on occasion and knew what my job entailed. She knew that she had to either sit in the conference room and be out of sight (she always had entertainment) on the extremely busy days or she could help out by delivering messages and print outs to the others (she loved doing that). My daughter is a bright girl. She has high aspirations for her future. She plans on having a maid and a cook so she doesn't have to do those things (ha!) and plans on having a lucrative career doing who knows what. She hasn't decided and that's fine for now. She has plenty of time, but whatever she chooses I know she'll do well. And there hasn't been any need to instill these things by tying her to a tree!
I hope the state keeps the other two children away from the parents that did this horrible thing. They took the life of their child away by leaving him exposed to the environment, by neglecting his need for guidance when he's misbehaved. I can't think of what type of horrible thing this kid could have done to warrant this type of anger from his parents. Obviously they had to be angry when they tied him to the tree, twice. Did the kid fight back? Did he cry out for help from neighbors? I hope the parents rot.
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