I'm sure some people out there have experienced some of the things I have when it comes to relationships. Such as having someone you're with or a parent who says something along the lines of "I just can't sleep when there are dirty dishes in the sink!" and literally have a conniption fit about it, but they won't personally do anything about it. Even after you've worked 8 hours, stopped at the store for shit they needed and (of course) didn't pay you back for the purchase. They whine and cry how messy something is but they don't think that if they utilize that energy to help out around the house instead will be much more productive than complaining to someone who (perhaps hasn't been on their feet all day long) has been dealing with customers yelling or calling repeatedly because they
are too stupid and lazy absolutely refuse to leave a voice mail for their contact.
Not all of the positions I have had in the past have been extremely stressful each and every day, but it always seemed on the days that were particularly trying those would be the same days where I needed to stop somewhere on the way home or as soon as I got home I was also expected to start dinner, do dishes and whatever other chores needed doing the moment I walked in. These things got very trying, especially since there were three adults at the time and one child. I felt as if I had three children and no help whatsoever.
There were (obviously) some volcanic blow-ups over this as well. I got so stressed out that I ended up causing myself physical pain. Pain that ended up becoming much more severe after doing 10 loads of laundry one weekend (no help!) and seriously straining my left shoulder to the point that I tore some muscle and pinched a nerve. Oh the nerve!
Unfortunately, I still suffer from that injury and if I overtax myself, even after starting a
somewhat very random exercise regimen. I feel it when I pick up grocery bags that are too heavy for me. I feel it when I pick up a container of kitty litter. I have to make sure that I don't do anything after I feel the indicator signs that I'm overdoing it, otherwise I wake up unable to move in the morning. If you've ever woken up unable to move and in serious pain, you know how awful it feels to get up and go get ice and then try to lay back down with the ice in the proper placement (because it's just no damn good if it isn't in the right place).
I've tried following FlyLady and while I'm supposed to just 'jump in wherever' it doesn't always work for me. It's a rare day where I walk in the house and feel like I want to continue to move. Even though I sit all day long, other than walking to see the supervisor or see someone about a project, or walking around the warehouse on break so that I can get some movement in, I come home and sit. And sit some more.
One habit I have accomplished of achieving each and every day (minus a day here and there, like my birthday) is making my bed. I love, Love, LOVE having my bed made and crawling into it at night. It makes me feel good. I get seriously discombobulated when the Little Lady crawls into my bed (because she just couldn't resist since it looked SO COMFY) and then doesn't remake it. There was one time she made an attempt at remaking it, which is more than she usually tries, but I noticed because I could see the sheet underneath practically all balled up and lumpy. It's very hard for me not to want to strangle her.
I am not a perfectionist or even OCD about anything. If you walked in here (which you better have called before coming over depending on who you are) you'd see clutter and probably a glass or three in the living room depending on if they got taken into the kitchen before bed. I keep trying to form good habits but it doesn't always help and when there's only one adult who is gone around 10 hours a day and one teenager who has a ton of homework after school (and tends to pass out shortly after getting home) things tend to get a little behind. Every day I try to load the dishwasher but it doesn't always happen. Laundry gets done on the weekend unless I ran out of time due to running errands. Grocery shopping gets done on payday Wednesday (which we all know is almost better than a Friday).
I feel that if I try to do something one day, such as today I put on a load of dishes, cleaned off and scrubbed the counters, shined the stove and sprayed the microwave to get it ready to be scrubbed (it's still waiting on me) then I swept the floor. Tomorrow I'll probably come home and collapse into the chair or onto the couch because I'll be putting in extra time tomorrow and Thursday to get a project done and make up hours. Should be interesting to say the least.
Still, coming home to a house that is a bit cluttered, or on really heavy duty days down right dirty, is a lot easier to deal with then walking in the door and being berated about the state of the household, the bills, the laundry, the cat puking (but we didn't clean it up because it's not our cat) oh and you need to make dinner because I'm starving as of ten minutes ago issues.