Being single isn’t always easy, but I do enjoy it. I don’t have someone to snuggle up and keep me warm but on the other side of things there’s no one stealing the covers or complaining that I keep things too warm. What can I say? I’m a cold-blooded woman. No really, my normal body temperature is 97.5, 1.1 degrees below the true normal body temperature. Also, I’m not stick thin anymore, I did gain that weight that I wanted, but I still freeze on a regular basis. I’m just not properly equipped to keep myself warm. Must be that cold rock I call a heart.
Other things I’ve noticed when you’re single is that people will try to fix you up with someone. Anyone. I’ve had my boss continually try to get me to go out with co-workers. I refuse. Repeatedly. I do not, will not, absolutely refuse to, date co-workers. It makes things awkward when they find out how I truly am in my private life and then things don’t work out for whatever reason. Then you have to keep seeing them every single day at work. I’ve had co-workers who are recently married try to fix me up with every ‘cute’ guy they see. Usually these guys are already married but don’t wear a ring, several years too young for me, or live out of state and are just in town on business. Now, while I’ve stated that someone like Mike Rowe would be an amazing husband because 1) he’s never home, 2) he works hard and 3) he’s got an amazing sense of humor it doesn’t mean I want to marry him. Or anyone else that happens to live out of state or even right in my own neighborhood.
I’m one of the few people who happens to be truly happy when they are single. I get confused looks when I say that. It would take a truly amazing and incredible guy to get me to marry him. I’m not just complicated, you know? I’m a Pisces on the Cusp of Aries with Libra Rising complicated. I’m a logical creative. I’m in my own personal world trying to create things that I can make real, whether that be graphically, written or photographic.
To be honest, I like making decisions on my own and not having to check someone else’s schedule to see if there are any other events going on. I like to be able to pick up a novel and get lost in the words and images it creates for me, to be in the story. I want to be able to be who I am without having to compromise myself. I end up changing everything about myself at first when starting a full-blown relationship and it’s truly disconcerting when I am finally comfortable enough to take it easy and then everything goes haywire because I’ve completely changed. Or I end up trying to be even more amenable than I normally would be and get walked over repeatedly and covered in mud. At least he was so kind as to tell me he forgave me of all the horrible things I did. (I’ve stopped trying to figure out what those things are. It’s easier to forget than to forgive for me, the anger just builds if I keep thinking about it.)
Now don’t get me wrong, I do get asked out. My answer is usually ranging from I don’t really know you (I don’t want to go out with you) to No thank you as you’re way too young for me (No, really. You’re too young and I’m so not interested.) Some people move on, others keep trying. So I’d like to put it out there. Just because I am single and not dating or sleeping with someone, whatever you want to call it these days, doesn’t mean that I am going to fall all over you for paying attention to me. It doesn’t mean that the split second you smile all sexy like and try to be sweet to me that I’m going to strip and spread my legs for you. It means that I’m going to mess with you. I’m going to entertain myself by listening to you repeatedly ask me out just so that I can say no. So that I can pretty much tell you where to go and how to get there in a way that just makes you beg for more.
Yes, I’m a bitch. I’ve never denied it and I never will. I don’t play the game, but I will toy with someone if it becomes a way of making me laugh. I’ll make you beg and if you keep it up, someday, without ever going on a date with you, I’ll probably make you cry. All the while I’ll laugh. Then, I’ll walk away.
Now now, relax. I only do it to those who specifically ask for this sort of treatment, the ones that simply can’t believe I could turn them down, the ones who keep asking and don’t yet realize that the word ‘yes’ isn’t going to come out of my mouth.
Truly, honestly, I’m not really looking for anyone. Maybe someday I’ll find someone that I can handle being around. Someone that won’t walk all over me. Someone that won’t think I am ignoring them if I go read a book. Someone who won’t lie to me about what their plans are. Until then, I’ll continue to live each day as I see fit. You should, too.