(Not) Your Punching Bag

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A "body opponent bag" on a pedestal ...
I am to the point of no return.  I am tired of being touched, having my chair run into and (oddly enough), most of all, I am extremely tired of having my head hit.  That's right, I've said it. Over and Over Again.  My head is not your punching bag.

While I do enjoy having a good laugh with someone, or joke with someone, I try not to touch anyone and if I do, it sure as hell isn't their head.  I'd say something to human resources but I didn't think it was going to become such a huge freaking issue.  (To this point, I still haven't and hopefully people I work with won't be reading this post. Ever. If you do happen to work with me, go away now.)

I tend to listen to music at work in order to tune out all the happenings around me, especially when they are talking numbers or prices and I am entering numbers and/or prices.  With the music on and depending on the volume around me, possibly turned up, I rarely hear anyone walk by.  Or hear them talk to me.  They have to usually touch me on my shoulder to get my attention.  This is acceptable.  It's what I would do in the reverse situation. 

Lately though it seems as if every single person who walks by is either running into my chair, shaking my chair, walking so close to me that the hair raises up on the back of my neck in a 'holy shit something comes this way and they are too close' manner or hitting me in my head in some way.  It's been happening so often lately that I now feel as if it is done on purpose.  If it doesn't stop, I may quit my job to get away from the morons who seem to think hitting a person in their head is an acceptable way of saying "Hey there!"

One incident I had someone come up behind me when in the doorway of a coworker having a conversation knock (not lightly either) on the back of my head.  I turned around and very calmly said "Please hit me in the head again so that I may hurt you."  I feel as if this would be in self-defense at this point with the way it keeps happening.  With the radical weather we have been having I've been having some major crazy reactions with my sinuses.  I know I am not the only one who has this problem.  I also know that I mention this problem once in awhile where those who hit me in the head should fucking know better than to do so.

On one lovely crazy-weather day my sinuses were causing me pain in the left side of my face.  Usually it's the back of my head or the face, but this day it was from the top of my head, left temple area, all the way down into my neck and shoulder area.  I. Was. In. Pain. and advil wasn't working for me that day.  Someone, a driver, walked by, possibly said something (I had some form of gentle-type music on instead of screamer music and completely tuned out as much going on around me as I could) and then hit me in the face with his money bag.  It was empty, but it still fucking hurt, since it was the left side of my face.  I just sat there. The shock and the amount of pain that ran from the top of my head down my neck and shoulder was simply too much.  Again, I said nothing.  I couldn't move let alone speak.

I've asked people to not hit me in the head.  I mean, it's obvious, or so I thought, that the head shouldn't be messed with unless you are defending yourself and trying to ward off an attacker. 

It's bad enough that I have to deal with the Nosey Bitch in the office, looking over my shoulder, reporting every little thing that I do on the computer that might be 'bad'.  I asked to move into the empty cubicle because of that and due to people congregating around my little workspace desk having impromptu meetings.  I was told the OK was given for me to move into the empty cube but I wasn't allowed to be told yet.  I'm not sure what kind of fucked up bullshit that is, however, if I don't get "official permission" to move in there within the week I may quit before I hurt someone and end up in jail.

I'm a tough broad.  I can take a lot when it comes to physical pain but when people start hitting me in the head when I'm already hurting, it starts to create a rush of rage and a desire to lash out, strike back, cause the person the same amount of pain they just caused me, if not more. 

Maybe I need to hang a sign, like the ones we have around the office that are ridiculous (like the restroom sign to wash your hands, turn off the lights, flush the toilet, not to put feminine products in the toilet...etc).  I could have it say "Please don't hit me in the head.  If you require to speak to me and I have music on please TAP ME ON THE SHOULDER." but then with my luck people will be assholes (since generally everyone is an asshole) and will tap me on the shoulder every time they walk by.  To piss me off even more than usual. 

I'm read to declare war.  Perhaps I'll put a sign up that says DEFCON 1.5. The remarks I make such as "Don't hit me in the head again or I will kill you." haven't been working.  Maybe when someone hits me in the head I'll slap them with the metal ruler I have, do you think that would be equivalent exchange?

Any assistance regarding this situation, other than going to human resources, would be extremely helpful.  It's not my dream job or anything but it (almost barely) pays the bills.

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4 Comments

WOW! I do feel sorry for you in that atmosphere. Maybe you need a pic of some old school teacher all scowled up with a raised ruler glaring out with a caption like: "Touch me and be punished!" It'd be better if it had her smacking someones glowing red bottom, but "HEY!" political correctness and all.

Hope you get your cubicle soon. Text if you want to vent.

Wow! That atmosphere is not only obnoxious, it's litigious! I'm surprised after all of your requests HR isn't doing something about it ASAP! There is a personal space bubble around everyone (in a work environment especially)- continually crossing it after being asked not to is grounds for termination in most companies, lest the company be sued.

I've put joking digital sticky notes on my monitor regarding things but no one notices them. I've put the word out that it's fine to tap me on the shoulder but people are going to start getting hurt when they touch my head. My higher supervisor knows that people touch me and it's starting to irritate. Supposedly I was unofficially okay'd for a cube but recently when I mentioned it I was told that they are still fighting for my right to a cube. It's like... great, so this is sort of like the 'am I full-time or just 40hrs a week?' argument all over again.

Well, I haven't mentioned it to HR and I won't because I don't care for the procedure that would ensue if I were to do so. I tell them in a very calm voice if they hit me in the head again I will stab them with my pen so they know how it feels. Generally this makes them realize that while we can joke around in other ways hitting me in my head, even lightly, is never an option.

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Disillusioned is a personal view of the world around me. A lot of information will be about books I read, or shows/movies I watch but sometimes there will be something that simply has to be pointed out and shredded. With Joy.

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Yeah, that's me! I am 25 37, I live in Ohio. I have one beautiful teenage daughter and one lovable cat. I enjoy writing, reading, television, anime and annoying my daughter. I'm also trying to learn Japanese because I want to visit Japan someday. Yes, I'm over 30 and I like anime, do you have an issue with that?

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This page contains a single entry by Chelle published on February 29, 2012 1:10 PM.

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