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When someone tells me something in *confidentiality* I actually like to keep it that way.  Sometimes I'll gossip and say I overheard something but I won't indicate who I heard it from and won't state the actual words that were said but paraphrase it.  Also, that's generally work-related stuff and I want verification on something from another person.  Usually it's me asking a question about something in particular about whatever I heard to find out from others if there is a Drop of Truth in the Bucket of Rumors Full of Holes.  What irks me is the whole inquisition about who I heard something from.  Then they tell me who they heard something from and usually it's the same person.  I just want to know 'is this true?' not 'who is spreading what'.

So it irritates me.  If you tell me something in confidence there's no need for me to sign a non-disclosure agreement.  Hell, I can even pretend to be surprised if someone else you told tells me the secret you shared with them.  Also, I'll probably forget it a few hours later as my mind gets muddled with other things that are going on around me, in my personal life, etc.  It goes into the vault.  The vault is so full of cobwebs from how rarely I visit it that nothing gets out.  Now if you refresh my memory it'll all come flooding back and then retreat back into the depths of darkness that is my mind shortly after that.  

I had a new close friend share something with me and while it was weighing on me a little bit I felt good because I was there for her to listen to what she had to say, give her my thoughts on the topic and help her figure out what direction to go in.  She is also friends with others at work and I mentioned to someone 'maybe send her a happy or a funny email to cheer her up a bit' and they immediately had to know why she was down.  I told them I couldn't say, I was sworn to secrecy and then moved onto something else.  It isn't my place to share secrets.  I don't care for rumors, they cause drama and problems and the whole 'they said this and they said that' which causes everyone to become angry, confused, hurt and then everything starts falling apart.  

I just can't understand why private things can't remain private.  This is why I don't tell anyone anything.  No one truly knows who I am deep down inside.  Some people know I write erotica, most people don't know even that about me.    And if I know that you tend to tell others about everything you hear then I will not share any of my deep dark secrets with you.  You'll only ever hear how I want to make the walls bleed and who pissed me off.  All you'll see is how angry I always am and hear about the latest book I'm reading or the funny tweet I read earlier.  But you'll never know who I am because if I can't trust you with a secret then you have no right to know who I am.  And unlike Eminem, I am not who you say I am.  I'm just me, a supposedly quiet introvert who has few friends and many acquaintances.

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About Disillusioned

Disillusioned is a personal view of the world around me. A lot of information will be about books I read, or shows/movies I watch but sometimes there will be something that simply has to be pointed out and shredded. With Joy.

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About Chelle

Yeah, that's me! I am 25 37, I live in Ohio. I have one beautiful teenage daughter and one lovable cat. I enjoy writing, reading, television, anime and annoying my daughter. I'm also trying to learn Japanese because I want to visit Japan someday. Yes, I'm over 30 and I like anime, do you have an issue with that?

If you really wish to know even more about how fantastic I truly am, here you go: About Me

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This page contains a single entry by Chelle published on April 30, 2012 8:55 AM.

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Michelle C. Miller
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