Scream

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Today I just want to scream. I'm frustrated and angry and I didn't sleep well. I didn't want to get up today either. I didn't want to get up yesterday. There are so many things to do, cleaning, laundry, work, so I have to get up. I can't ignore everything the way I want to. You would think my  life would be easy, but it isn't. People have told me I have it good and I do but it doesn't mean that I don't struggle each and every day. My neck and shoulder are hurting quite a lot and my stress level is through the stratosphere. I'm not sure what to do.

Cheryl Tiegs

"Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don't, and when I don't, I do something about it."

I saw this on my quote list on my Google page. Today is one of those days that I don't feel beautiful, inside or out, and I want to do something about it. I focus on my breathing. I stuff everything into a box in my mind but it's overflowing and leaking all over the place. I'm trying to contain it so that it doesn't bother others who are sensitive to emotions. 
 
I really want to just scream. Little Lady works this afternoon so I might be able to let off some steam when I get home. The shower selving unit fell this morning and I thought something had fallen on her in the bathroom. Luckily that wasn't the case and it'll be dealt with when I get home. 
 
I know other people feel this way, probably more often than I do. Today I feel that I'm going to explode at any second. I don't even need to have the wrong thing said or a button pushed, it's just there, waiting to find the weakness in the walls.
 
 I just want the anger to go away. I don't want to feel it anymore. Some days I don't want to feel anything at all, but then the good feelings would go away as well and I don't want that. It just seems that lately I am having more negative emotions than positive. I try turning it around by thinking of the things I am grateful for and sometimes that works. Sometimes I can list everything under the sun, moon and stars and it just doesn't seem to make a dent. I feel like that today.
 

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About all I can offer is an ear to listen with. I know it isn't much, but sometimes, that is all that is needed. You know how to hit me. Please do if you need to. I'm good for it.

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Disillusioned is a personal view of the world around me. A lot of information will be about books I read, or shows/movies I watch but sometimes there will be something that simply has to be pointed out and shredded. With Joy.

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About Chelle

Yeah, that's me! I am 25 37, I live in Ohio. I have one beautiful teenage daughter and one lovable cat. I enjoy writing, reading, television, anime and annoying my daughter. I'm also trying to learn Japanese because I want to visit Japan someday. Yes, I'm over 30 and I like anime, do you have an issue with that?

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This page contains a single entry by Chelle published on April 15, 2013 9:36 AM.

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Michelle C. Miller
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