The Many Layers of Being a Nice Person

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happy bunny.jpgIf you've ever prevented yourself from doing a double-take and clamped your mouth shut at the same time, you might be a nice person. If you've ever stood there and waited patiently for someone on a store-scooter to get where they are going, you might be a nice person. If you've ever listened to a person spout off things that make your eyeballs twitch while smiling and nodding because you didn't want to get them riled up any further, you might be a nice person. Please note, just because you might be a nice person doesn't mean you're also a pushover. Although you might be one of those poor nice people who can't seem to figure out how to use the word "no" and are therefore overwhelmed, stressed to the max, sleeping poorly and can't seem to find time to sit down quietly and read that book/watch that movie/insert hobby here, it's time to learn the proper use of the word "no" in order to regain your sanity.

I am a reforming nice person. Reforming because I still tend to use the word 'yes' a little too often and as soon as I do it backfires and I have a million other little tasks {this will only take 5 minutes} piled on top of the one thing I said yes to by others who didn't know. {Or bother to ask, or care to know, or didn't bother going through the proper chain of command because why would they do that?}  These are the people who walk all over nice people. They toss something on their chair when they aren't at their desk or they call and ask you to run errands when they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own; they are just too lazy to do so. These are the people who come to you and say 'please please PLEASE just this one little thing...' and so you do it but then when you need something and go to ask them for assistance they are too busy and full of excuses, or if they say yes they never get to it and by the time they let you know {if you're so nice that you haven't nagged them about it like they would you} it's too late to bother.

There are ways you can stop the madness. Practice saying 'no' about something small. "No, I can't stay late tonight, I have {insert real or fake family related plans here} and I have to leave right at {insert leaving time here}." Eventually you'll be able to work your way up to saying no to projects that you don't have time for, folding other people's one piece of mail {then stuffing it, sealing and stamping it as well}. Once you get all of your regular duties under control, organized and finished early then you can add more projects here and there. However, if you have a supervisor, make sure that they are going to your supervisor before coming to you. If they can't seem to handle that, then talk to your supervisor. Hopefully he or she will be kind {or awesome} enough to stick up for you as your time is also their time and your work is also a reflection on them.

While people don't always follow the 'see my supervisor' role where I am working I do let him know what is going on and this way he can keep tabs on how much people are utilizing my skills*. I try to keep track of everything I do, whether it's something repetitive or new, even if it is a one time project. There are some one time projects that can go on forever because people have no clue how to do things in the proper order. In other words, if you have a bunch of items you want to put into a book for each employee, then you should make sure all of those items are updated with current information prior to having someone assemble the book. These things happen and in my personal opinion if the other people involved in the project are disorganized and they didn't go through my supervisor regarding it then it is low priority and can sit and wait until my high priority projects are completed.

 If you learn to respect yourself, believe in your skills and teach others that you are not a doormat, eventually {some of them anyway} will learn that they can't just throw something on your desk without asking first.


{*abusing my lack of time}

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Disillusioned is a personal view of the world around me. A lot of information will be about books I read, or shows/movies I watch but sometimes there will be something that simply has to be pointed out and shredded. With Joy.

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About Chelle

Yeah, that's me! I am 25 37, I live in Ohio. I have one beautiful teenage daughter and one lovable cat. I enjoy writing, reading, television, anime and annoying my daughter. I'm also trying to learn Japanese because I want to visit Japan someday. Yes, I'm over 30 and I like anime, do you have an issue with that?

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Chelle published on August 7, 2013 9:55 AM.

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Michelle C. Miller
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