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stop.jpgDear Motivational Speaker,

First, your 'special terms' for the different aspects of people are not quirky, they are kind of stupid. You basically took terms and read off synonyms and definitions and then said 'this is what it means if you're this type'. Also, I'd like to say that people who are creative, whether it be building, designing, or other forms of art-worthy terms you read off your list, do enjoy the outcome of the project. Yes, the process of creating something is enjoyable, depending on who you're doing it for or why. However, seeing a finished project and the respect you have (hopefully) gained from people who see the finished product is a huge bonus. Telling our managers not to reward the creatives in the business after a project is finished is not only rude, you're basically saying "just keep piling the work on them so they are always 'in the process' and they'll always be content!"

Thanks, but no thanks. I've known tons of creative people over the years, in many forms of creativity, and they are always thrilled with their finished project. They wear the stuff they knit or sew. They use the stuff they build. They don't toss it in the back corner of the closet or shed and whine that it's perfect but meh, I don't want anything to do with it now that it's over. 

Second, I really didn't care to hear about how wonderful your life turned out to be. Great for you, working for that incredible organization and all. I'm sorry that becoming a parent and retiring from that incredible organization was such a trying time for you in your early 30s. 

Third... please get out of motivational speaking. The only thing you motivated in me was the wish the day would go quickly so I could get home with a nice, slow evening full of doing something creative, cooking dinner, and watching a favorite tv show. 

Thanks for wasting an hour and half of my day, it was the best part of your speech.

Dear Daughter...

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anmprom13-reflection.jpgMy daughter is graduating today and then she'll be running away to University in August. Am I prepared for this? How do you prepare to send your only child off into the world even when it's not all that far away? You remind yourself that she's no longer a child, she's an adult with dreams and desires and a life full of opportunities ahead of her. You realize that even though you are sending her out into that world, that world that will not treat her as kindly as you'd like, she will always forever be your child. When things get rough she will turn to you and ask 'why' and when things are going great she might not call all that often because she's spreading her wings and riding high on the fun opportunities presented to her.  Even though she will come home on some weekends to do laundry you might not get to see her all that much because she will be running off to do things with friends who are also home for that weekend and she hasn't seen them for ages.  You both have been together for 18+ years. Just because she is going to be sleeping in a dorm suite a few hours drive away doesn't mean she isn't still technically living at home.  Most of her things will still be in her room and it'll even remain clean more often than having piles of clothes on the floor.  {And if you miss her so very much and want it to feel like she's there you can always go throw her clothes on the floor... just don't tell her that!}

So how do you send your child off into the great big world? Well loved, well nutured and with the knowledge that she can still call you whenever and come home whenever and that you'll still be there all the time, just like you are now, except a little further away. You send her silly care packages to let her know that you saw something and thought it was something she needed to see, even if it's something she'd have no interest in, just because she wasn't there to share in the moment.    You make sure to annoy her when she's home so that she's sure to annoy you back to carry you through the weeks that she isn't going to be home. Make sure to laugh and do fun things when she's home and that way she'll want to come back. 

Remember that she is an adult and is capable of making her own choices. That sometimes you won't agree with the choices that she makes but the best way to learn is to go out there and live life on your own terms. Of course, she'll always be your baby girl and regardless of how far she goes in life she'll always know that if she needs her momma, she'll be there.

I'm so proud of my daughter. I hope that everything she wants in life comes true and I know that she knows with some hard work and good choices that it will.



letter.jpgDear Person Who Truly Pissed Me The Fuck Off,

I am sick. Some combination between a head cold and allergies. My supervisor so kindly let me go home for half the day yesterday. I got home about 20 after 12, changed, took out my contacts and brushed my teeth. Then I crawled into bed with the cat snuggled up close to fall asleep. Then you came busting in asking very loudly what I was doing home early. Not that it is any of your business, because it isn't. Then it didn't matter that I was IN BED, you open the door and say loudly {again}, 'OH, are you sick? Do you have THE FLU?'.... I was 30 seconds from falling into a deep dreamless state of actual, real, revitalizing sleep. And you fucking screwed it up. I don't sleep well often so when I actually feel that type of sleep coming on I try to seize it like a thirsty person lost in the desert does water. But no, you fucked it all up. I didn't sleep that afternoon. I was exhausted and barely capable of anything all evening. I didn't get much sleep last night either. 

So from now on when I leave work due to illness I won't be coming home. I'll go to a fleatrap motel before I come home just to have you crashing through the door again demanding information that doesn't concern you. I know that I have to be grateful to you for certain things but it doesn't mean that I don't hold your asshole attitude against you each and every time it presents itself.

I await patiently the day that I can say goodbye.

About Disillusioned

Disillusioned is a personal view of the world around me. A lot of information will be about books I read, or shows/movies I watch but sometimes there will be something that simply has to be pointed out and shredded. With Joy.

Disillusioned is best viewed in 1280x800 resolution.

To contact me you can email me by way of disillusioned at, comments are open for business with approval.


About Chelle

Yeah, that's me! I am 25 37, I live in Ohio. I have one beautiful teenage daughter and one lovable cat. I enjoy writing, reading, television, anime and annoying my daughter. I'm also trying to learn Japanese because I want to visit Japan someday. Yes, I'm over 30 and I like anime, do you have an issue with that?

If you really wish to know even more about how fantastic I truly am, here you go: About Me

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Michelle C. Miller
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